Next Steps

Next steps are supposed to be fortuitous. Positive harbingers of what is to come. Hopefully indicative of good fortune, optimism and excitement just around the bend.

My next step feels nothing short of tragic. I won't even be able to contain the tears as I write this.

My next step is fundamentally one of separation. Yes of going in a new direction but it's not 100% welcome.

My next step brings me to tears and makes me sorrowful for the choice that I know I must make.

My next step is final and one I cannot come to forgive, even within myself.

My next step is to no longer have my dog, my companion, my pal, my roommate, my adventure buddy, my nuisance, my playmate, my loyal friend.


Aya has been with me for nearly 3 1/2 years and has seen me through countless moves, a handful of relationships, career transitions, travel, theft, breakdowns, sadness and stress.

She's been with me as I've succeeded in work, enjoyed creative triumphs in the kitchen, watched me mop, danced with me into the wee hours, accompanied me on walks, hid out from rainstorms, watched seasons of trashy TV, interrupted puzzles, chased down flied and pests, entertained, curiously observed my odd human habits (ahem, yoga, mowing the lawn, composting), created messes only to watch me clean them, observed friends come and go, partaken in drunken parties and beer samplings, given me silent feedback on my outfits every morning, taken advantage of my playful moods, taken advantage of my generous moods, my lonely moods, my vulnerable and my most happiest moods. She's cuddled with me through cold Portland winters, given me an excuse to stay at home on Fridays when friends are calling, inspired hikes on Saturday, backpacking trips on long weekends.

She's been here for life and the life has been ours and ours alone. Very little can compare to a girl and her dog. Aya will always be my dog and I will always love her dearly. I will always love the time we've spent together, the adventures we've shared, the roadtrips we've co-piloted, the friends we've made and though it sounds silly, the jokes and laughs that are the secret lore of girl and dog.

I'll miss her terribly and I know I'll never be able to get back the love I have in this one and true special dog friend.


I love you forever Aya the Adventure Dog. May you always find the greenest pastures.

With love,

~Your female human people friend